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Our religion shapes how we see the world, relate to ourselves, and decide on a moral code, making it a central part of our identity. But for some of us, there comes a point where we begin to question the direction in which our beliefs are developing and how that comes into alignment, or friction, with the religious community we’re part of. When this happens, you might find yourself on a journey to religious deconstruction, a process where we dismantle our religious beliefs to find out what clicks for us and what doesn’t.
Many people who undergo religious deconstruction end up choosing a different faith or abandoning religion entirely. If you’re going through the same experience, here’s a quick guide on how to look for a new religion.
Identify Your Core Beliefs
Choosing a religion is a deeply personal journey with moral implications. Most religions, whether secular or not, will want you to ascribe to a moral code that reflects its teachings. For a lot of people, this is where the main friction between them and their current religion comes from. Because of this, your first step should be to consider what you really believe in and which of these beliefs are non-negotiables for you. You might say you don’t believe in an afterlife but find that this isn’t as important as, say, being part of a religion that allows women to become religious leaders.
Grab a pen and paper and start digging into your assumptions about the world, spirituality, and existence. The bigger and harder the questions, the better you’ll be able to parse your personal stance on religious and moral topics. This can be uncomfortable and even painful because it calls for you to step back from what you’ve been taught to admit, without reservations, what you really believe in. Remember that this is your journey and, if you’re feeling guilty about questioning your beliefs, you might find that you still want to stick with your current religion.
Another way to do this is to talk to other people from different faiths and find out what they believe in. From there, you can figure out how their religious beliefs line up with your beliefs which should give you an idea of whether you should join them or not.
You can also start reading religious material from different faiths. Pick up the Bible, the Quran, the Tripitakas, etc., and reflect on what you read.
Figure Out What You Want From a Religion
It sounds almost wrong because of the strong emphasis on humility and service in many world religions, but before you join a new religion, think about what you want it to provide to you. A starting point for this is to identify what it is about your current religion that you still like and why you find it hard to leave it for a new religious practice. A lot of people don’t switch religions because they’re attached to their religious community and the sense of belonging it provides. If that’s the case for you, unstructured religions with more or less independent practices, such as Wicca, may not be the right fit.
Some of the things you might want from a religion include:
- Community – Religions provide belonging in a group that shares the same basic beliefs and lifestyle.
- Ceremony and ritual – Many religions observe ceremonies and rituals where you can experience the divine. On a more mundane level, many religious ceremonies are fun to celebrate such as Christmas or Diwali.
- Aesthetics – It may sound shallow, but the aesthetics of religion can put us in the right headspace to think about the ethereal, transcendent beauty that many faiths speak of. Whether it’s the Baroque interiors of a church or wide open fields, beauty inspires awe and you may find that feeling of awe is important for you to experience the presence of a higher power.
- Mission – Do you want to join a religion where you’re invited to convince other people to join the faith or not? For some people, sharing the message of their religion gives them a sense of mission and purpose.
- Lifestyle – Certain religions put restrictions on what you can or can’t eat or drink, what you can or can’t wear, and who you can or can’t marry. Some religions may also expect you to initiate your children in the religion while others may leave that choice to your children when they grow into adults.
In your journey of self-reflection, you will likely discover that there are other factors that are important to you that aren’t listed here or factors listed here that aren’t important to you at all.
Explore Your Religious Options: Religions You May Not Have Heard of Before
For the sake of simplicity, we won’t be splitting hairs as to what counts as a religion or not. The ones listed here are religions that believe in a higher power of some kind and keep a certain set of beliefs. We won’t be counting the main line religions or their sects as you’re likely already familiar with them. Instead, we’ll be going over some religions you may not have heard of but might find worthwhile.
Baháʼí Faith
The Baháʼí Faith has its roots in Babism, a religious movement that originated in Iran and was established by Sayyid ‘Ali Muhammad. Baháʼí has since evolved to have its own set of practices and religious beliefs, and now mostly follows a different series of religious writings from the Kitāb-i Īqān that was used in Babism. That said, the religion remains monotheistic and reconciles the idea of a singular deity by accepting the deities of other faiths as “Manifestations of God”. In the Baháʼí view, these manifestations come to exist as a way to reveal spiritual truths that are relevant to a time period meaning that Baháʼí is also open to the idea of new manifestations of God.
The Tres Potencias
The Tres Potencias is a syncretic religion that mixes Venezuelan indigenous beliefs with African and Catholic religions. The most prominent figure of the Tres Potencias is the goddess Maria Lionza, often referred to as “La Reina”. La Reina reigns over a hierarchy that includes Guaicaipuro, a native chief, and Negro Filipe, an enslaved African, the two other members of the Tres Potencias. Maria Lionza’s influence over the religion is so great that if you look for resources on it, you’ll mostly see references to her but not much about the other potencias.
While belief in Maria Lionza may sound niche, it’s actually quite well-known in Venezuela where followers of the goddess gather at Sorte Mountain to profess their faith.
The Many Variants of Paganism
There are many pagan religions that survive today or have been revived in recent years. You have the popular Wicca, occultist, and Goddess movements as well as pagan religions that try to recreate pagan traditions that went into decline centuries ago. Among these are the Hellenistic pagans who worship Greek gods such as Artemis and the Ásatrú pagans who honor the Norse gods.
There’s a god for just about anything in pagan traditions, so it’s no surprise that some minorities choose paganism because it allows them to connect with ancestral deities who reflect their experiences such as the Norse’ shapeshifting Loki, the Aztec Xōchipilli who is associated with homosexuality, and the Greek Dionysus who is seen as an “outsider” coming from the east.
What if You Don’t Want to Follow a Religion Anymore?
Looking for a religion that suits you is a long journey of self-discovery and you might come to realize that it just isn’t for you anymore. If that’s the case, you may decide to become agnostic, someone who believes we cannot be certain about the existence of a higher power, or an atheist who doesn’t believe in a higher power at all. These categories aren’t just black, gray, and white, so feel free to look into them further if you feel that’s the right path for you.
If you don’t want to settle into agnosticism or atheism but want the community and structure that comes with committing to a religion, you can also check out other belief systems where you don’t have to believe in a higher power.
Some religions don’t require you to believe in a higher power. This is why some people distinguish belief from religion. In a secular religion, ceremonies and moral decrees are still observed, but there’s no insistence on the existence of a deity or variant thereof. Secular pagans may practice a religion as part of their ethical code but view gods as concepts and archetypes rather than actual deities.
Secular religion can overlap with other systems of thought such as humanism, which maintains that people should live ethically and pursue the well-being of humanity as a whole for its own sake, and deism, which says there is a God but that said God doesn’t interfere in the on-goings of reality.
