What Is DDLG?: Understanding the Strange World of a Slightly Dubious Kink

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In this article:

• DDLG stands for Daddy Dearest/Little Girl and it’s part domination/submission kink and part aesthetic.
• As an aesthetic, DDLG is about pastel colors, dolls, and other styles and accessories associated with children (but worn in a more suggestive, erotic way).
• Eroticized child’s clothes and accessories have, perhaps unsurprisingly, made DDLG controversial. Some accuse it of being a form of legal pedophilia.
• A quick guide to DDLG kink terminology.

It’s hard to keep track of all the niche aesthetics that crop up on the internet. Not only do they change quickly, evolving into other styles and developing sister aesthetics, but they share a lot of basic features with each other.

The aesthetic intermingling that happens on sites like Tumblr and Pinterest makes it difficult for a casual observer to tell certain styles apart (i.e.- fairycore vs cottagecore vs goblincore). But if you’ve spent most of your teens online, like many Gen Zers have, telling these aesthetics apart only takes a quick glance.

Which is how I ended up going down the DDLG rabbit hole.

Pinterest is filled with DDLG aesthetic photos and even if you don’t know the term, you can eventually be led to it if you go through enough Lana Del Rey and angelcore aesthetic pictures.

If you draw a Venn diagram of angelcore and the themes of Lana Del Rey’s discography, you’d probably find DDLG in the area where they overlap. DDLG aesthetic pics take the sugary sweet, innocent looks of angelcore and give them a suggestive twist.

The result is a kink that’s often been accused of having ties to pedophilia.

What Does DDLG Stand For?

DDLG stands for “Daddy Dearest/Little Girl” which is why it’s also written as DD/LG. The main gist of the kink is that there’s a dom who nurtures and/or disciplines the sub who plays the child role.

Despite its name, DDLG isn’t a strictly heterosexual kink. The pairings can be Mommy Dom/Little Boy, Daddy Dom/Little Boy, Mommy Dom/Little Girl, etc. As long as you keep the caregiver role and little role, you have a DDLG type dynamic going on between you and your partner.

While DDLG is the most well-known term for this type of submission and dominance dynamic, members of the DDLG community may prefer CGL (Caregiver/Little) since it’s more inclusive.

DDLG incorporates several kinks into its “toolset.” The most prevalent kink included in DDLG is ageplay and, to an extent, it’s almost like the two go hand in hand. Ageplay describes roleplay scenarios where one or more partners pretend to be older or younger than they are.

For it to count as ageplay, partners have to be consenting adults because anything else isn’t exactly “play” anymore, is it?

Another common feature of the DDLG kink is power exchanges between two partners because DDLG is ultimately a submission and dominance kink. One partner has to assume the submissive role (the little) while the other takes the dominant role (the caregiver). As a dominant, the caregiver gets to set rules with the little, rules that the little can be punished for if they break them.

Obviously, the idea of engaging in kink play with a partner while one of you pretends to be much younger than they really are makes a lot of people uncomfortable. Like many kinks, it’s hard to see the appeal if you’re just not into it. But some littles choose DDLG as a way to unwind and destress because, during playtime, there’s no need to be responsible for anything. After all, there’s another adult taking the reins for a few minutes.

Emily Ryan, who has actually tried it out for themselves, says it’s a “temporary escape” from adult life. That said, the kink has taken root in other parts of her life.

“It’s sort of branched out into becoming my aesthetic, even affecting the clothes I wear, the things I buy, and more recently, how I personalize my iOS 14 home screen.”

It isn’t at all surprising since DDLG has a lot of aesthetic elements to it.

Elements of the DDLG Aesthetic

Daddy Dearest/Little Girl has certain aesthetic elements attached to it, most of which involve childlike imagery that contrasts with the sexually suggestive content of its overall look.

Pink and Pastel Colors

If you look up “DDLG aesthetic” right now, 90% of the photos you see will be pink. The remaining percent is going to be all pastel colors and/or white. Just like angelcore, the DDLG aesthetic uses color to evoke an ethereal innocence that reminds participants of childhood.

Bratty Text

Photos of the aesthetic will sometimes show bratty “Little Girl” themed text about breaking the rules, annoying a dom, or wanting to be treated like a princess.

It’s pretty much the same for kink enthusiasts who have a Mommy Dom and Little Boy dynamic except in blue. What’s worth noting, though, is how easy it would be for your average Facebook mom (you know the type) to confuse it with real parent-child posts.

One photo reads, “Your baby presents to you a drawing they did, looking down shyly and blushing, “I hope you like it, mommy, I colored it in all your favorite colors.” and you say, “I love it, baby, it’s perfect. On the fridge it goes, pick a magnet to hold it!”

Yeah. You get the idea.

Stuffed Animals and Dolls

DDLG enthusiasts include toys in their playrooms as a way to help their Littles get into “littlespace.” Stuffed rabbits, Care Bears, and dolls are the most common though some littles may choose traditionally masculine toys.

Depending on the space available and how much the caregiver and little want to dedicate to their playroom, they may even have play tents and puzzle mats included in their setup. Like other forms of BDSM, DDLG gets expensive fast.

Diapers, Milk Bottles, and Pacifiers

This is what makes the DDLG kink more controversial than other forms of BDSM. Some people, though not all, engage in drastically aged-down play. Littles who decide to roleplay as toddlers make use of diapers, milk bottles, and pacifiers as part of their RP persona.

Because of its use of items that are strongly associated with small children, DDLG kinks and people who like them have been accused of pedophilia or, at least, as close to it as you can legally get.

The argument is that because DDLG enjoyers find child-like behavior titillating, it follows that they find childhood, and therefore children, sexually arousing. Hence the allegations of pedophilia.

People who are actually in the DDLG community, though, insist that for the most part, DDLG has nothing to do with being attracted to minors.

A DDLG to Pedophile Pipeline?

John Carr calls Daddy Dearest/Little Girl dynamics “the new currency of predatory pedophiles” because of how easily it can be used to groom children. If you’re wondering who he is and why he gets a say in the matter, it’s because Carr has years of experience working on online child safety and has served as an Executive Board Member of the UK Council for Child Internet Safety.

His stance on the matter is purely from a child safety perspective. Carr clarifies that he has no interest in regulating what consenting adults do with each other. He just says it’s too easy for minors to gain access to DDLG related material.

For example, there are DDLG groups on Facebook and videos about the subject on YouTube. Both are sites that don’t properly screen for users’ age. He’s also noticed that minors use “kink tests” and attach their results on their online profiles, making it easier for predators to target them.

And honestly? I get it. In case I haven’t made it clear before, I’ve never actually tried any of the kinks and fetishes I’ve written about, least of all this one. But the reason I’ve heard about them at all is because I grew up online.

The internet is Euphoria high school, whether anyone wants to admit it or not. The kink tests that Carr wrote about? They’re everywhere on Discord servers and Amino, a social media platform with a predominantly underage user base.

Others have a stronger stance on the DDLG kink, describing it as a “gateway for pedophiles to engage in their twisted desires” and “a product of pedo culture.” To them, DDLG itself is morally reprehensible even if the participants are consenting adults because the kink is built on the idea of sexualizing childhood.

Not only that, most DDLG play involves having the Little think of themselves as a real child, as exemplified by the use of baby-fied language like calling sexual organs “princess/prince parts” and using words like “nom noms” to replace “food.”

Whether you think of DDLG as something to be reviled or not, you might want to familiarize yourself with DDLG terminology.

If you’re into it (no judgment here), it helps with researching the topic further so you can play safely. If you feel it’s a public danger that you need to protect your younger family members from, learning DDLG terms can help you identify if your child, niece, nephew, or grandchild is being groomed.

Daddy Dearest, Little Girl 101: A DDLG Dictionary

Daddy Dom, Mommy Dom, Or Caregiver

The caregiver or Daddy Dom/Mommy Dom is the dominant in a DDLG/CLG relationship. As a dom, the caregiver gets to set rules for the Little to follow and administer punishment when the rules are broken. It’s common for rules to be related to self-care when they’re not directly sexually in nature.

A caregiver may set bedtimes, order a Little to take vitamins, do chores, etc. Being parented probably doesn’t sound sexy to some of you, but it is part of the DDLG kink since the caregiver acts as a parent figure and protector for the Little.

Little Girl, Little Boy, Or Little

The Little Girl/Little Boy, or just “Little,” of a DDLG relationship is a sub in BDSM terms. It’s the Little’s job to follow and break the rules that a caregiver sets. Breaking rules is a play technique used to get the caregiver to do what the Little wants i.e dole out a “punishment” without breaking them out of their dominant role.

Littlespace/Headspace

Headspace is a generic term used to describe the frame of mind that participants have during play sessions. During play, both the Little and the caregiver adopt a mindset that helps them assume their role. One of these is “littlespace” which is what DDLG practitioners call the headspace of Littles once they’ve mentally regressed to a younger age.

Little Age

Little age is the age that the Little chooses to be during a play session. Different ages call for different types of Little behavior. Depending on their play age, a Little may be regressed enough to be non-verbal or just young enough to still make a fuss over jigsaw puzzles and ask questions endlessly. Some Littles play at ages as young as 0-1 years old. Make of that what you will.

Nanners, Uppies, Nom Noms, etc.

Infantalized language is part of many DDLG roleplays, especially when a Little’s mental age is young enough for it. Nanners, for one, are a baby-fied way of saying “banana.” “Uppies” is apparently supposed to mean, “Pick me up.” while “nom noms” refers to food or eating.

Other Ways of Saying DDLG

DDLG Playground lists out the variations of DDLG as follows:

• MDLG: Mommy Dom Little Girl
• MDLB: Mommy Dom Little Boy
• DDLB: Daddy Dom Little Boy
• TDLB: Trans Daddy Little Boy
• TDLG Trans Daddy Little Girl
• TMLG: Trans Mommy Little Girl
• TMLB: Trans Mommy Little Boy
• CGL: Generic term for any Caregiver & Little relationship

If you try out the DDLG kink, remember to stay safe and communicate to make sure everyone’s on the same page. For the parents out there, hopefully, this helps you keep an eye on the people who talk to your child online.

What are your thoughts on DDLG and other similar kinks? Have you tried it yourself? Let us know in the comments!