The 6 Best Funny Insults Translated From Other Languages

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Warning: this article contains vulgar and profane language and a lot of it. If profanity or sexual references make you uncomfortable, you should not read this article.

Learning new languages is a lot of fun in general; however, one of my personal favorite things about it is when things don’t translate directly. Try telling someone in Chinese that it’s raining cats and dogs. Go tell a smoker in Indonesia that they should quit cold turkey, and then light up a cigarette and say, “Oh, sorry, I suppose that’s the pot calling the kettle black.” None of these phrases make any logical sense, and when you try to translate them into a new language, they often make for some pretty hilarious moments. 

Evidently, one of the more idiomatic aspects of languages is the way in which we insult one another. In fact, there’s an entire subreddit dedicated to translating insults from one language to another directly, and it’s called r/TranslatedInsults. First, I’d like to say a big thank you to whoever the genius was who created this subreddit. It’s simply amazing. Second, in honor of this wonderful corner of the internet, I’ve decided to compile some of my favorite insults from r/TranslatedInsults in this article. Enjoy, you gormless mingers. 

1. It Matters a Bunch of Dicks to Me

Alright, so I know this isn’t exactly an insult, it’s more of an expression of indifference. But, come on, it was too good to pass up. Apparently, in Puerto Rico, when you really don’t care about something, you might say, “Me importa un racimo de bichos.” If you were to translate that directly into English, it would basically be the same as saying, “It matters a bunch of dicks to me.” And I think that image is absolutely hilarious. 

I knew that Puerto Ricans weren’t afraid to express a little sexuality, but this is just ridiculous. Instead of just saying, “I don’t care,” they instead choose to reference a banana-bunch of penises for absolutely no reason. I suppose it’s pretty similar to “I don’t give a shit,” in English, which is certainly also vulgar, but in a different way.

2. He Wants to Deliver the Shits Hot

According to a contributor to r/TranslatedInsults, a Lebanese person insulting someone might say “Beddo ywasil I kheryet sohkneen.” The phrase translates directly into English as: “He wants to deliver the shits hot.” I think we can all appreciate how absurd this insult is. It’s as if they’re talking about a pizza pie or an order of chicken wings, but instead, they’re talking about a steamy box of feces. 

I’m sorry if the image of a steamy box of feces grossed you out, but you clicked on an article about insults, so what did you really expect? I’m just worried about what happens if he delivers the shits cold. Do you get a refund? Did you have to pay for the shits in the first place? I have so many questions. 

3. A Bad Dancer’s Balls Get In the Way

Yes, this is my second reference to genitalia in this article. Get over it. Apparently, in Russia, they have a saying that goes: “плохому танцору яйца мешают” Hilarious, right? Oh, you don’t speak Russian? Well, it directly translates to “a bad dancer’s balls get in the way,” and it is essentially a way of telling someone to stop making excuses. I mean, it makes sense to me. Whenever someone tells me I’m a bad dancer, I always immediately blame it on my balls. 

Imagining someone saying that phrase in English but with a Russian accent has me absolutely exploding with laughter in a crowded coffee shop as I’m writing this. If I have the pleasure of having that experience, I will be able to die a happy man. 

4. Fuck Your Little Sunshine on Your Little Window

I stayed in Croatia for a few days a couple of years ago. I had a lovely little Airbnb with a beautiful window facing the ocean. I rather enjoyed waking up to the sunshine coming through that window each morning, but I certainly never thought about fucking that sunshine. How would that even work? How does one fuck something that has no mass? 

Allow me to explain. In Croatia, they have an insult that goes: “Jebem ti sunasce na prozircicu.” Apparently, that translates directly to: “Fuck your little sunshine on your little window.”

I cannot even begin to think of what the English equivalent of that insult would be. It completely defies all logic to me. My best guess would be that it’s something you say to someone who’s annoying you by being too happy-go-lucky. But, again, this is entirely a guess. If there are any Croatians reading this, please comment on the real meaning of this wonderful insult. 

5. Go to the Parrot’s Vagina

Now that I’ve referenced male genitalia twice already, I feel it’s only right that I give a shoutout to my female friends with this next insult from Argentina. If you want to tell someone in Argentina to go fuck themself, you might say, “Anda a la concha de la lora,” which translates directly to “go to the parrot’s vagina.” Now, that is quite funny, but why did they have to bring those poor, beautiful parrots into this? Those majestic birds don’t deserve to have their legacy stained by disgusting phrases such as this.

Also, if an Argentinian gets angry, they might just yell out “concha de la lora.” So, essentially, instead of yelling “damn,” they basically express their anger by yelling “parrot pussy!” Again, there are so many birds out there in the jungles and deserts of Argentina, so how did the parrot get this reputation? I wonder what Iago from Aladdin would have to say about all of this.

6. Ass Banana

I thought it’d be nice to end this article with something short and sweet, and those crazy Danes delivered just what we needed. A common insult in the great nation of Denmark is to refer to someone as a “røv banan,” which translates directly as “ass banana.” And this is me petitioning for all of us English-speakers to start using this insult as well. It’s hilarious. It makes no sense. It’s like someone just picked a random fruit and a random naughty part of the body and smashed the two together. I love it. 

One of the best things about this insult is that it’s short and easy to remember. So, if you ever go to Denmark, you’ll be able to join in the fun with the locals and call everyone you meet an “ass banana.” Just, uh, watch a couple of YouTube videos about how to pronounce that letter “ø” first. That one can be a doozy.