Before you write this off as another cheesy self-help article, really let that question sink in for a few moments: are you really living your life or are you just going through the motions? Do you live every day with intention and agency? Do you feel strongly about the things that are happening around you or do you sometimes feel like you couldn’t care less?
It’s easy to fall into the trap of going through the motions. And it’s difficult to keep in mind that you have one life to live and that you should live it how you want to. The monotonous routines of everyday life sometimes switch our minds onto autopilot and it can feel like we’re watching our own lives from a third-person point of view. I’ve been there. Pretty much everyone has been there.
So, what can we do about this? How do you stop going through the motions, hop in the driver’s seat, and start taking control of your own life? And I’m not necessarily talking about success. I’m talking about simply feeling like you’re the one in control of your own actions. At the end of the day, life is too short to waste days, weeks, or even years not feeling like you’re the one living your life.
It’s easy to go through the motions, but it’s going to leave you feeling unfulfilled and passionless. Living life is more difficult, but it will make you happier, more confident, and more proud of yourself for your accomplishments.
In this article, I’m going to go through two basic ways that you can start taking more control and start feeling like you’re living life more. And it’s important to remember that there’s a sort of snowball effect involved with feeling alive.
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Once you put these tips into practice more and more, it will become easier to feel like the master of your own universe and you’ll find that you start waking up with more energy and zeal. Stop letting the days drift away by going through the motions. Take advantage of the life you’ve been given and seize the day.
Stop Fearing the Consequences So Much
A lot of people end up going through the motions because they fear what will happen if they break out of their routine. But taking risks is what helps us feel alive. I’m not saying that you need to jump out of an airplane tomorrow or bet your mortgage on the blackjack tables in Las Vegas, but maybe start by taking a small risk, even if it has some potentially negative consequences.
Let’s take the classic preteen boy example (one that hits very close to home for me). There’s someone you have a crush on in your class, but you’re terrified to do anything about it because you’re afraid of rejection.
You worry about what they might say to you when they’re rejecting you. You worry about what they might tell the other kids in the class if you go step out of your comfort zone and tell them how you feel. Do you see how heavily focused these thoughts are on the possible negative outcomes instead of the possible positive ones?
Alright, so we aren’t all preteen boys. How about this? You’ve been working in the same job for years and it doesn’t give you any enjoyment whatsoever. You tell yourself that you’re staying in the job because it pays well and it has solid upward mobility prospects, but really you’re just scared of what might happen if you quit. Will you be able to pay all your bills? Will your friends and family judge you for giving up a well-paying, stable job? Will you have to delay your mortgage for another few years?
In both of these examples, we worry about the potential negatives instead of considering the potential positives. But the truth is that we humans can withstand a lot more than we often think. Sure, you might tell someone that you have a crush on them and then they reject you and you get embarrassed in front of your classmates. But at least you took the chance. And who knows? Maybe that person has a crush on you too and you start dating and making incredible memories.
Sure, you might quit your job, spend a year unemployed, have to sell the car to afford your mortgage payments, and get judged by your friends. But would you rather just ride out the rest of your life in a job that leaves you unfulfilled when there are jobs out there that you might love and that might provide everything you need financially as well?
What I’m saying is that you’re better off taking the risk (within reason) than playing it safe and settling for an unsatisfying life. You deserve the very best. You deserve to drink up every drop of the sweet nectar of life. But the only way you’re going to get that is by taking some risks.
Try Something New
You’ve heard it before: you never know if you like something or not until you try it. So, try it, try it all. If you keep the same routines for your entire life and never try anything new, you’re going to miss out on a whole lot of things that you might potentially enjoy.
Trying new things gets us out of our comfort zones and gives us that exhilarating feeling of new experience. And if you’re feeling like your just going through the motions, the best way to snap out of it is to find something new that you’re passionate about.
Let’s say that you’ve been doing the same thing over and over again for years. You go to work from the morning to the evening five days a week. When you get home from work, you turn on the television and eat dinner. On the weekends, you go to the bar on Friday and Saturday and then relax all day on Sunday. Sure, there’s something to be said for routines, but if you keep doing the same things every week, it’s going to start to feel like you’re stuck on a hamster wheel.
Break the cycle and start feeling alive again! Join a club! Go to a yoga class! Try to learn a new language or learn to play an instrument! Whatever it is, just try something new. Maybe you’ll hate it or maybe you’ll love it, but at the very least you tried something, had a new experience, and got out of your comfort zone. And who knows? You might find something that you’re extremely passionate about and that brings a lot of fulfillment to your life.
As a personal anecdote, a few years ago, I started to feel like I was stuck on the hamster wheel, doing the same things over and over every week. I was in university, I was going to class all week, partying on the weekends, playing video games on weeknights, and not really ever challenging myself or having new experiences.
One day, I decided to pick up a pencil and practice drawing. To my surprise, I had a great time zoning out and focusing on the sketch. From there, I started making digital art, painting, and taking advantage of all sorts of other creative outlets. This new hobby of mine has brought an unbelievable amount of joy and fulfillment to my life, and it’s all because I just decided to try something new one day.
You see, the changes you make in your life don’t have to be monumental to stop feeling like you’re going through the motions, you just have to be willing to take some small steps towards renewing your zeal for life. And it really just comes down to putting the effort in.
No one is going to change your life for you. You’re the one who has to consciously choose to stop worrying so much and to break out of your routines and try new things. So do it! Life is an amazing thing. Enjoy it while you can!
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